To The Source of the Nile

In 2008, I was standing on the edge of everything I didn’t know. I had graduated high school the year before, unsure of my next steps, except for one thing: I knew God was calling me. Where? I didn’t know. But I knew I had to start walking.

That January, I found myself at Resurrection in Gatlinburg, a Methodist youth event echoing with worship and the footsteps of over 14,000 students. I had already given my life to Christ years earlier, but that weekend was different. It was the first time I walked forward during the altar call, having been multiple years. I wasn’t starting my faith, I was committing to live it with purpose.

That moment wasn’t about a new beginning. It was about a deeper surrender.

Resurrection a Ministry to Youth, Gatlinburg, TN

Then came a conversation with my pastor that cracked open a whole new world. A mission trip was forming to Sudan and Uganda in 2009, and somehow, the invitation landed at my feet. I said "yes". Not because I had a grand plan, but because I felt the Spirit stirring: go and see. Be still. Be quiet. Let Me show you before I tell you.

I didn’t even have a GPS at that time. I printed out Google Maps and hit the road toward Knoxville for the first team meeting. I got lost. Took a wrong turn, ended up in another state, and arrived two hours late.

Welcome to missions, Kortni.

But when I walked in, they were still there - waiting. That’s when I met the team that would shape me forever: the first Vacation Bible School mission team from the Holston Conference to serve in Africa.

We left in March of 2009. Tennessee was cold, and I didn’t know what to expect. The journey took three days, with every plane feeling smaller than the last. But as we stepped off in Uganda, I could feel it: I wasn’t just crossing borders. I was crossing into calling.

All through the mission, I kept asking Jesus: What’s my part in all this? I taught. I served. I listened. But I kept searching for clarity, not just in what I was doing, but in why I was doing it.

“Even zeal is not good without knowledge, and the one who acts hastily sins.” - Proverbs 19:2, CSB

This verse reminded me that passion alone isn’t enough. Zeal without understanding can lead us into places we weren’t meant to go. It’s easy to rush into roles, titles, or responsibilities because we feel ready or because we don’t want to wait. But Proverbs 19:2 gently reminds us that haste can lead to missteps, even when our intentions are good.

This, being there, taught me that sometimes the most faithful thing you can do is slow down. To watch. To listen. To be present in the becoming. You may be filled with the Spirit, but that doesn’t always mean you’re ready. It means you’re being made ready. And only Gods voice can move us.

Then, near the end of our trip, we arrived at the Source of the Nile. The place where Scripture breathes through geography. I sat on the rock at the edge of the river, unsure of what I was searching for, only that something sacred was there.

“When she could no longer hide him, she got a papyrus basket for him and coated it with asphalt and pitch. She placed the child in it and set it among the reeds by the bank of the Nile.”  - Exodus 2:3, CSB

I sat quietly beside the rushing current, the roar around me yet something inside completely still. I thought about Moses. About how one life, surrendered, could shift the destiny of a people. I reached my hand into the water, not to take anything from it, but to feel if the voice of God still moves in its depths.

It didn’t answer every question. But it did answer the right one: Was He with me? Yes. And that was enough.

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For Those Who Go

It starts with a conversation, a detour, or a quiet “yes” when you feel wildly unqualified. I wasn’t sent to change the world, I was sent to see it and to come back and share what was seen.

I’ve told this story a dozen different ways, to which each part can teach a lesson. It's like when a pastor looks at just one verse in scripture and says, "Gosh, I can create 30 different sermons just from this one verse." But this version, this one is for the goers. For the vision-seekers, the ones who wonder if God really speaks, and the ones who are afraid to say yes because they think they have to have it all figured out.

I’m "grateful" I got to go. Grateful I was chosen, not because I was capable, but because I was willing. It was my first calling. And it was fulfilled.

“Therefore, don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” - Matthew 6:34, CSB

Sometimes your greatest act of faith isn’t storming the gates, it’s sitting by a river with your hands in the water, whispering, Here I am, Lord. Speak.

“I will instruct you and show you the way to go; with my eye on you, I will give counsel.” - Psalm 32:8 CSB

This verse is a promise of presence. It’s not just about direction, it’s about companionship. God isn’t handing you a map and sending you off alone. He’s walking with you, watching over you, and offering wisdom that’s both personal and timely.

The phrase “with my eye on you” speaks to a kind of divine attentiveness that’s hard to put into words. It’s the gaze of a Father who sees not just where you are, but who you’re becoming. It’s the assurance that even when you’re unsure, even when you’re two hours late or sitting quietly by a river in Uganda, you are not unseen.

This verse doesn’t demand perfection. It invites trust. It reminds us that God’s guidance is not a one-time instruction, it’s a continual unfolding, shaped by His love and our willingness to follow.

He saw me then.

He sees me now.

And He’s still showing me the way.

And for anyone reading, wondering if they’re ready, wondering if they’ve missed it, wondering if God still speaks, He does.

And His eye is on you, too.

Let’s walk in it.

Let’s go and see.

Let’s become.

This story isn’t finished and neither is yours. If you’re still listening for the whisper or waiting on your “yes,” come back soon. There’s more to unfold, and I can’t wait to share what comes next.

Sincerely,

Kortni Lasater